Bachelorette Recap: Amsterdamnit, Hannah

Alright Bachelor Nation, a LOT has gone down in the past couple of weeks, so I  decided to merge Week 6 and 7’s recaps together for Euro-Trash double feature. The last time we were together, Hannah almost threw the deuces up on this whole experience, mainly because everyone still hates Luke and is petty. (I …

Bachelorette Recap: Luke Warm

In the words of one of the worst humans this show has given us, I’m VERY confused right now! We’re at the half way point in the season and we are. still.talking.about.Luke.P. We’re welcomed back to Hannah telling him he’s got to go, so Luke leaves and then literally turns right back around from the…

Bachelorette: Celtic Chaos

Me currently because my past recaps and stories  have been stalled due to an extremely busy schedule, but also me because we start Week 5 and we are STILL talking about Luke. Once again, one of my biggest issues with The Bachelor/Bachelorette format is that we spend the first half of each season focused on…

Bachelorette: A Tale of Two Lukes

Pack your bags everyone, we’re at Week 4 and that means the lease is up at the Bachelor Mansion because Chris Harrison lets the guys know it’s time for an exotic getaway to…. Rhode Island…..(no offense to RI but you know what I  mean) …and poorly designed jackets As expected, and deserved, our first one…

Bachelorette Recap: Pity Party

Okay ladies and gents, we’re onto week 3 of The Bachelorette, which means producers are comfortable enough sprinkling in B-list celebrity couples and weird sponsored content into Hannah’s search for love, and that’s exactly what we got. We get thrown right into the first group date, which is a bizarre lesson on babies with the…

Bachelorette Recap: Mr. Wrong

The first full night in the Bachelorette mansion has finished and we’re back for Week 2 of Hannah’s search for anyone but Luke P. love! After skipping around the mansion, she’s ready to get the party started with her first official group date. Our first group date of the season is none other than a…

Bachelorette Recap: Let the tide roll in

***siggghhhhhhhh**** We’re back folks. The BACHELORETTE has returned and has arrived in all of itss well edited and manufactured glory. After suffering from a pretty dull season last year (sorry Becca) and just a straight up annoying season of the Bachelor more recently (not sorry Colton) we’re finally getting rewarded  more punishment with Hannah B,…

The Bachelor Recap: Cry Me A River

Alright friends, we’ve FINALLY made it to the end of Colton’s “journey” and man has it been exhausting. We’ve seen Demi fight with “cougars”, beauty pageant queens bicker, Colton jump a fence, and a whole lot of editing of bad b-roll. This is a 2 day, 4 hour finale (which in my opinion could be…

The Bachelor Recap: On the Fence

Alright folks, we have FINALLY gotten to the fence jumping scene we’ve been teased all year and I’d say it didn’t disappoint, only in the fact that it was a the last .04 seconds of the episode. But first, let’s start for the beginning. After narrowing the field down to Tayshia, Cassie and Hannah G,…

The Bachelor Recap: Hometown Zeroes

The end of February has brought good fortune…. the coldest month is almost over, Lady Gaga is now an Oscar winner, and it’s Bachelor Hometowns. HALLELUJAH! Hometowns are our chance to see what pack of wolves these crazies have all been raised by, and we definitely get some insight into each of the final four….